Standing outside with a work colleague today on our usual smoke break with our slowing blueing hands, discussing how it would be so much nicer to be in front of a fireplace with a glass of gluwein having a Swedish masseuse massage our feet (I opted for Spanish due to my inherent dislike of blondes), the subject of my being gay was broached. And for once in my life I stood mumbling with no coherent answer.
How is it that I can answer (and bluntly mind you), questions about my sex life, my coming out and probing questions about my relationships but when asked why lesbians tend to dress like tomboys and why there are girls who only date those kinds of girls I stumble at the first hurdle. Well, I am one of those girls that only date tomboys, and I love 
everything about them, I love the short hair and muscle tone and the boyish look they pull off so well. And I knew he was thinking, hmm…so you like girls who look like boys aren’t you a bit confused? But, no, I think it’s most probably, for me anyway, that the outside being so boyish makes the undressing and revealing of them soooo feminine. (Kind of like that age old librarian fantasy who turns out to be a wild child 
It’s also most probably that I like being dominated and I just don’t see femme girls that way, I don’t go for the whole damsel in distress kinda girl that I’d have to do everything for (not that I’m saying all femme girls are like that don’t get me wrong), I just believe in equal partnerships and even though I wear make up and paint my nails and fuss over my hair for an hour everyday I’m still a jeans and T kinda girl. And even though I bitch about breaking a nail I can use power tools, change a tyre and work in the garden. But, is he right? Do I really just go for girls that I look like boys because I secretly yearn for one? Nah. It’s like saying that girls who like boys with long hair secretly want some girl on girl action…not plausible.
But then I turned to the other side of the coin, ok that’s what I’m attracted to but, then why do some girls dress that way? I’ve gathered that that’s the way they’re comfortable and to me it suits their personalities but, in the interests of further understanding I went out to ask the majority of lesbians I know. And…I got no direct answers, the majority of my answers came in as – that’s how I’m comfortable. I know a good deal of girls who changed how they dressed as youngsters, trying to fit in, also, to be acknowledged. It’s much easier for the hotty at the bar to give you the eye when she knows without a doubt you’re lesbian and not some great hulk’s girlfriend. When I go out I’m always surprised that people know I’m gay, I don’t feel as though it is that apparent, but, clearly it is and so, I wonder, am I in that class too? Even though I am unashamedly lesbian I don’t make a conscious decision to dress “like one”. My choice of clothing is just what I’m comfortable in and what I think looks good.
I suppose I didn’t have an answer because it’s not something I question; I take it for granted that everyone has their own unique style. I suppose if I were to grab the other end of the stick I’d ask him if he doesn’t think liking straight girls who are constantly dressed in jeans makes him a little gay?xxx
